Please meet Damon, one of Alfie's older brothers.
 

Damon was eight at the time we were expecting Alfie and was more excited than anyone, he had more questions than I could ever have thought of in a million years and wanted a grown up answer to all of them.

He looked for baby clothes and spent hours looking through catalogues at prams and baby accessories, he couldn't wait to mother this new little person who was coming into our lives.

Throughout everything that happened, he was strong and although still heartbroken tries to be strong for us, he was the first to walk into the hospital and ask to see and hold Alfie and the one who asked if we could keep him at home forever.....in the fridge if necessary, lol. (That's kids for you, see the easy way round everything!)

Since we lost Alfie, Damon has spent a lot of time drawing, writing and creating things for Alfie, this page is some of the things that Damon has done in memory of Alfie.

Hi, I'm Damon, Alfie's big brother. I waited to be a big brother for a long time and even though Alfie isn't here with us I still think of myself as his big brother. Wherever he is, that's what I am. This is my side of the story.

One afternoon my mummy had a tummy ache and it got stronger and stronger so my stepdad J phoned an ambulance and they went to hospital. My nana looked after me and my brother and sister. After a while my stepdad phoned my Nan and told her that Alfie had died. When my Nan told us about Alfie I started to cry straight away, my brother and sister were not crying but I think that's just because they were gutted.

J told us that we could go and visit Mum and for the first time see Alfie. When I saw him for the first time I thought he was so cute, I was very upset the first time I saw him. When we went home from there we went to Nan's house and ate some KFC. After our food we went to bed and I had a dream that night. The dream was about a baby. I was in a land where there were no problems at all, I looked up at the sky and a baby was looking at me. The baby was very happy and somehow I found myself up in the sky playing with the baby but then the dream got sad because the baby got poorly and then it died. That's how the dream ended.

The next day we went to see mum and J again and Alfie was lovely and red, he looked all rosy. Before that he was purple, he looked much nicer when he was red. The next Sunday Alfie came home because the next day was his funeral. Alfie was buried and I was pouring my eyes out at the service but later we had a kind of party for Alfie and I cheered up.
 

It was just an ordinary day, nothing special happening, and the usual noises of morning sickness, moaning, washing machines and ordinary things on a Sunday, well; at least we thought it was an ordinary day.

My Mum normally had pains and slight twinges during this pregnancy with Alfie, it was certainly nothing new, but today they seemed to feel different to my Mum, so she went up to bed as sleep seems to repair everything normally, but not in this case.

All me, my brother and my sister were told is that Mum’s stomach ache had got worse (not with all the details in case we panicked) but we were driven to Nan’s house while Mum was driven to hospital while we were getting re-assured everything was going to be okay, I felt okay, but a little worried, but I was almost sure, in my mind, everything was going to be fine, hey, maybe out of all of this I would get a little brother to normally tease and cheekily play with.

Well, we had been sitting in my Nan’s house for quite a while when suddenly her phone rang while she walked into her kitchen to answer it. She had been in the kitchen for a couple of minutes, she returned to the living room, her eyes filled with water, I asked if everything was alright but she said “Your Mum has lost the baby.”

That was when everything started turning bad, the little brother I had been waiting for for ages had gone suddenly from my world, never to see him alive, breathing and crying like most newborn babies. My world collapsed that day, but to slightly soften the blow, we were informed we were allowed a hospital visit, it was good to see Mum was okay, J [Step-Dad] was okay and baby Alfie in peace and at a better place.

A few days had passed since we received the news that Alfie had died, and the news had not started to become easier, but easier to cope with. I knew Alfie was at a better place, away from harm and pain.

Alfie was allowed home for a night at our house, but it was recommended we did not pick him up or move him, as the fluids in his body would move, that was bad news but at least we knew he was at home, safe with his family.

The day after it was his funeral, a sad day, but the day his body would go into the ground and be very safe. Words and poems were said at his funeral, and afterwards we had a little get together with family and friends, in memory of Alfie.

Losing a brother is not an easy thing to cope with, as it isn’t with any loved relative and friend. I still miss Alfie and love him, I still deeply care for him, but he will always be in my heart

Damon's Poems

As you may see on another page of this site, Alfie's brothers and sister wrote poems for him to be read at his naming ceremony and his funeral service. Here is Damon's, along with some other things that he has written for him since.

My brother Alfie is so handsome

He is very nice and cute

I didn't want him to pass away

But that's the way it is

I am thankful for the time I had with him

I hope he enjoys it in Heaven with God and all his friends

I hope he is loved up there

Please God let him rest in peace

My brother Alfie was a sunshine

He was very cute

He was purple at first

But then he got red

He was born sleeping

He was born sleeping

Because he had an abruption

But why did he die?

He didn't do anything wrong

He was only a little baby

Please visit Damon's own website that he made for his brother at the time.